So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
