i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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