my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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