he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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