I'm sorry my penis didn't work
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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