Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
this just has baby written all over it
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
