You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He? As in you personified your dick?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
