My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
