omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
