my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
