so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level