So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"