is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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