hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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