I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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