Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize