don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have aggressive nipples.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
