she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
