there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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