his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
