found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
