wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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