I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
