Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
