We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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