just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize