if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize