Me. At least after what I've been through.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
