he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize