I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
