so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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