she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
