Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Randomize
