Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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