Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Send help, water and tortillas.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
