Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
