just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
