This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
