Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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