The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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