The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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