my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
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