I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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