would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
