she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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