Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
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were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
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The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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