we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
