you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize