I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize