At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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