so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
