The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
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Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
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after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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