She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
