Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize