I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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