i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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