He is such a slut. More and more my type.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
